Outside the box

This well-known phrase refers to think differently, unconventionally or/and from a new perspective. The ability to do so can be seen as a tool to create new habits and different mind-sets to tackle existing problem. One of my main Objectives for my future self is Financial Freedom and Independence. I have been at this point of financial freedom already, while working in investment banking, which provided me a very healthy income, but it came with a hefty price tag called DEPENDENCY instead of Independence. My values shifted and I simply can’t go back there so I need to find a new way to create the state of both. In order to do so, I need to change my perspective. This means to use the tool of “out-of-box-thinking”.

The starting point would be to challenge my mind-set. I need to figure out how I can use what I am now to become what I want to be, but using different ways. As I have never seen nor walked this ways the major question here is how to find them?

Let me start a little experiment, which I failed to be honest, but it shows you how blind we can be:

A man and his son are on a hiking holiday and they both have an accident while on the cliffs. The father is taken to the clinic for minor injuries while his son has been whisked to the operational theater urgently. The surgeon quickly arrives on the scene and after seeing the boy says “I am unable to operate on this patient. He is my son”

How is this so?

You know the answer? Well I didn’t until I looked it up. The surgeon is his mother. Same reality, different view…

How to think outside the box?

1. Daydream: our subconscious tells us what and where we can already imagine ourselves. It is possible, at least for our brains to see us there at this point. Don’t underestimate the value of imagination. The brain is the hardware; our mind is the software to run our self towards the goal. So get your mind to work. Program it accordingly.
2. Eliminate negativity: our thought affect our behavior, therefore also the results aka consequences. In real life this means we prime ourselves with our cognition to be motivated to do things (take chances) – or demotivated.
3. Imagine worst case scenario: what’s the worst case that could happen? Our mind is master to imagine 100 deaths you can die, 95% of it will never happen, but if you think about the possible ones you are prepared do deal with it if they happen, mostly you will realise that they are just imagination of your mind.
4. Study another industry: my whole working experience I have been around financial people. Looking at other industries with remarkable success stories provide you a new way of structuring your career

This are just first steps towards new perspective. Even quantum physics confirms

“reality doesn’t exist until you look at it”

But beware; I find it overwhelming to think of endless possibilities as it will keep you in some sort of blank spaces where it’s very difficult to make a decision of further steps. Set parameters. Good way of marking the edges of your bigger box would be location, time frame and budget.

This is my way how to tackle outside box thinking but perhaps somebody has a better idea?

ready steady GO

I have been postponing my task *to clear my mind and define goals* now for a while..Today it became clear why I have been doing this.  Once they are there, written on a piece of paper, I have to tackle them, I have to start actively and not only in my imagination but actually working on my goals. One of my procrastination tricks was, that I could not find a way how to write them down ( as it if matters). I wanted to invent my own template etc… Truth is, I could have used just a plain piece of paper, but if you are a sucker for planners, journals and spreadsheets; there are tons ( millions) of available possibilities in the net. Most of them are even free available, and truth to be told plenty or creators are true artist and they have done a brilliant job. I have used this goal sheet made by Christine Dinsmore, published on her pretty blog the plumed nest . I like it as it isn’t girlish but also not boring, so she gets 10 points here!

I admit that I have made 2 Sheets as one is a bit more personal and I don’t believe that everything needs to be put “out there” but I made them. I have used as major goals the priorities defined in my personal EM and broke them down. One of the most important and easy to monitor things would be following

Treasure and preserve things you love →yourself →improve your health→ increase your fitness level and improve eating habits ( sucker for sugar !!) → walk 90km a week ; I volunteered to takes neighbors dog out, a husky, as they don’t have enough time for it ( win win situation for everybody)→ get better paleo recipes as my diet became boring and I am craving bread again→ ditch sugar and most of the coffee

Goal is to get my clothing size to be loose and that I don’t feel tired after the walk and that I don’t miss chocolate and ice cream at 3 pm. Benefits should be a better skin and muscle tone ( outdoor and lack of sweets) so I can enjoy my beach holiday in July in good shape. Also beneficial will be this practice  for my planed hiking-event in August, where I will have to walk for 35 km a day across half Scotland … I know I can quit, anytime but I have always been a person who said

Do or do not, there is no try

Goal setting for beginners

Some might wonder about my topic choices, but I assure you I have a plan..

Once a week I pull out my (“took me so long EM sheet”) and check where I am on my path to the change I want. Last week it was all about discipline; but all the discipline of the world will not bring you any step further if you don’t know where would you like your journey to end. So this week should be about defining and setting goals.

How to set a goal BEGINNER LEVEL

1.  define long term vision
2. write it down
3. break your goal into smaller steps
4. define deadlines
5. go and start

Real life example

•  treasure and preserve things you love as long term vision
• definition of “things you Love” : My family, me as a person, my friends my flat, my car etc…
• treat your loved possessions with care and respect (spend more time with family; help and enjoy them OR clean the car regularly OR eat healthy ….)
• I wanted to improve the relationship with my brother: in 3 months time I want to find more things we have in common and see him more often. Find out if he needs any help somewhere, what does he like etc…
• He needs to re-do his tired and old kitchen. I went and checked prices and put some proposals together.

Things you need to consider while setting your goals:

Use S.M.A.R.T. method , it stands for : your goal need to be specific, measurable , action orientated, relevant and track able. Its also important to set your priorities and spend as much time as necessary there, be precise in goal definition as otherwise you cant measure it. As an example “To be happy” is a great overall achievement, but in my personal opinion, it can never be a goal. I have also experienced,  that the most powerful tool in goal setting is to write those down. You might have always on your mind that you want to loose a few pounds but if its there, written on 1.1. of this year and you look at it now you will realize that you need to get going… After you achieved a goal take the time to enjoy it, you worked hard and you deserve it.

here is my EM matrix, so you can get some inspiration for your goals: EM donotdare

fun and games

as one might notice this week topic has been about practise and exercise of self discipline. I consider this to be such an important step in term to achieve goals that there is no way to get around it but I was dreading it. I thought “oh oh my daily pleasures are over, I will turn over to a machine and live an ascetic life. Goodbye fun and  games! I could not be more wrong!

Top 5 Fun-moments  while exercising self-discipline

• the neighbors dog is benefiting hugely from my physical attempt and plays clown all the time. the face expression of the dog when he first saw a rabbit in his life was priceless! My face expression when the dog was pulling me along while chasing the bunny for 800m even more!
• after swimming I found the courage to slide down the “black-hole-slide” in our local lido. My oh my, I was beyond scared and for sure not graceful but I am still smiling when I think of!
• got an old (35y) Italian race bike. had to pimp it up to look like a hipster bike. Drove over a very narrow bridge and screamed like a girl…

So far I can tell what they tell you about practice self discipline is only half the truth; yes it takes effort to start but its NOT like

“Discipline really means our ability to get ourselves to do things when we don’t want.”
Arden Mahlberg

I want to do those things! I just don’t know yet…

Practice Discipline

“Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is power”

                                                                             Lao Tzu

One of  the basic steps on my way to a better person is practice discipline and patience. It is part of the fundamentals of every change as it is human that we avoid things that are unknown or uncomfortable. Discipline and patience gives you the tools to improve your skills on desired area and transforms the unknown task or situation into familiar.

Like every craftsman needs to master his trade by repeat practice you can train and practice discipline. Self discipline is a learned behavior. Here is my self discipline plan

1. set yourself a task and do it for 5 min ( you can finish the task if you want)
2. schedule the most important task like its business appointment and start on it, no matter what
3. visualize the end result and revisit it daily

I tend to do exercise discipline best in the morning ( as I am general a morning person) but my mind and intentions are also fresh which helps me with motivation. Be aware that you will have to fight against your self. You will find so many reasons to put things of. One of the rules here should be ” DO IT NO MATTER WHAT”. Keep your goals short term ( can be part of a bigger goal) and repeat, repeat and repeat the exercise. Things will be easier with time. Also bear in mind that you will slip. Its not the end of the world, its human. The strength is to start again.

Let go of past

In my last post how to let go of things I held so dear  I tried to define the basics of how do I deal with letting go of my past . I have followed my own steps and wrote everything down from my past what I thought defines me. Funny enough I have found about 1 Mio. other things to do before I finally managed to sit down and define myself as I see it.

The structure of my notes was as follow :

Financial, Physical, Mental and Spiritual

I wrote same notes for my future me as I dream about.

At the moment as I burned the notes I thought ” Wait I will make copies, otherwise how will I remember what it was and how can I measure the progress …” And at this moment I have realized this is exactly what I am not supposed to do. To let go of something is also taking the possibility into account that is irrevocable. The good and the bad, but it is necessary to fulfill  my Important and Urgent Point of clear my mind. This was the point I burned my past and my dreams of the future. I will make and define my day as I want my future to be. And then I shall repeat the same behavior tomorrow… 

TOP 5 BOOKS FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND CHANGE

Everyone and each of those books made me act and feel in certain ways. I have read also plenty of others, but those which have not caused any reacting are never worth mentioning. I regularly revisit my top 5 and seek for new inspiration and solutions to some of my current problems. I think everybody should have a personal list of “helpers”, but keep this list short. If you are reading too much, getting too many opinions all this will result is just inefficiency. Find your members of your personal council of wisdom and seek guidance in time of need. Then do it or do it not, there is no try

1. MIND POWER from James Borg
2. SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE from Stephen R. Covey
3. HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING from Dale Carnegie
4. STRATEGY POWER PLAYS from Tim Philips and Karen
5. THE HAPPINESS PROJECT from Gretchen Rubin

I also like and got value from

WAIT from Frank Partnoy

THE ART OF THINKING CLEARLY from Rolf Dobelli

How to start this

Every project or journey begins with the very first step. I am not sure what exactly my first step was as the idea of “Me 2.0” has creeped up slowly into my daily life.

I have decided to make a change, but did not know where to start or what exactly I wanted to change. This problem of “notknowing” made me treating “Me 2.0” like dealing with a huge project at work. In my prior life I was responsible to set up big financial project for investment banks and I always started with the end result in mind. Once you have this you can get your strategy and tactics sorted out.  I first researched some great books about personal-development and how to grow and be happy etc. Plenty of those made me want to quit strait away! But some have proven worth my time. You can find a list of my personal favourites here. I used to define my personal goals of this particular change by using the Eisenhower Matrix (EM). I started with a blank page and although I had always thought I know how the perfect me would look like, it was much harder to put this in writing and use it as a guidance. After 50 attempts this is what I think how I would like to be as finished product. I am sure that my EM will change, probably even during   this journey but I think the basics will remain the same.